


Allein, allein

by Paper_Panda



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angry Bucky Barnes, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bucky Barnes Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Creepy Brock Rumlow, F/M, Graphic Description, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hydra (Marvel), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Reader-Insert, Smut, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Violence, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-07-11 04:15:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15964487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paper_Panda/pseuds/Paper_Panda
Summary: Bucky Barnes is still the Hydra’s asset. He doesn’t remember who he was before. You’re his new handler. How things between two of you are going to turn out?





	1. First meeting

Surrounded by four grey walls, there was nothing else to do but stare at them. To look at the paint that had started to chip off as time passed, or gouged by others - anything to pass time. He was slowly going mad, theorizing absurd meanings from the wall’s blank stare.  
He wasn’t sure about anything. He didn’t know who he used to be. He couldn’t remember any certain moment from his past, just few random memories were always going through his mind, however he couldn’t place them in time. Were they real? Or was it just his imagination that was tricking him?

The darkness swirled around his curled form on his bed, tendrils of inkling bleak reminders of his solitude. The silence echoing in his ears was the constant white noise that never shut up. Her head swam in the fire burning inside, the only smoldering embers of a time where there had been other presences with him, around him, in him. But then, the void had been slowly filled with a cold, howling storm of fear that refused to ever let up. He was completely and utterly alone in his mind, body, soul, and most of all, entirely alone in the world.

The knock came quietly first and then there was silence.  
He frowned a bit, slowly raising his head and turning it to the door.  
“Who’s there?” He asked, his voice husky and unpleasant.

The knock was louder and faster this time, no one has responded at his previous question.  
Long-haired man got up and within three large steps he was next to the metal door. He opened them and frowned slightly.

In front of his door, in the dim light of fluorescents, you were standing, looking around.

He let his glance along your form, from the bottom to the top as he leaned his flesh forearm against doorframe.   
“Do you have permission to be here?” He asked simply, his cold gaze was still on her.

You nodded, you were visibly hesitating.  
“Yes…”  
Your voice was nothing more but a whisper. It didn’t, however, make him less unpleasant. He simply didn’t care about you, yet he was pretty curious about purpose of your visit in a dungeon.

“I’ve asked you a question. Who the hell are you?” He repeated, his voice was deeper this time.

“My name’s Y/N. I am your new handler.”

He blinked and it was when he noticed a large briefcase in your hands.  
It was definitely not what he was expecting this evening to bring.

“You’re wrong, Y/N. My handler’s doing pretty good. He’s upstairs, having a training with other agents.” Man replied with a light shrug. “I don’t need you. Go away.”

He turned around in an attempt of closing door but you stopped him, slipping your leather boot between doorframe.

“Here,” you opened the briefcase and pulled out some document, handling it to him, “read this if you don’t believe me.”

Man let out a loud, irritated sigh but he took the paper from you.  
His eyes were getting wider and wider while he was reading the contents of document.  
His handler has died in a car accident at morning. He had enough bad luck to get hit by an armored car while being with other Hydra’s agents in the small village nearby.

“Impossible.” He scoffed out. He looked at you, a wry grimace on his face.

“Well, I didn’t come here to have some gossips with you.” You said. “We have a mission tomorrow. We gotta get prepared. Let me in and stop wasting our time, okay?”

He cocked his brow but shifted away, letting you in to his chamber.

When you got in, he closed the door behind you and walked to his small bed to take a seat at the edge of an old mattress.

You put your briefcase on the tiny table next to small, barred window. You sat on its counter, crossing your legs nicely, looking straight at him.

“Do you know anything about your next mission, asset?” You asked him.

He nodded simply, shrugging.  
“Yea. Gotta kill the prime minister of Russia.”

You nodded.  
“Good. Remember that you…”

“… have to stay undetected, ma’am. I’m not an idiot. It’s not my first task.” His voice was cold like his glance that was still on you.

You remained silent for a while, then nodded.  
“Yes. Exactly this, asset. Get up and take off your shirt.”

He cocked his brows but obeyed your order.  
He slowly took off his grey shirt and tossed it onto bed. The view of his muscular chest and flesh arm made you speechless. 

“Do you need any configurations of your… metal arm?” You asked, swallowing hardly. You had to admit to yourself that this man was handsome and that your heart skipped a beat when you were observing him, staying there half-naked in front of you.

“No.” He said simply and took step towards you.

You held your breath when he stopped in front of you. He leaned down and stopped his handsome face barely few centimeters from yours.

“You’re scared. I see this. Why they assigned you to someone like me?” 

A gentle tilt of his head made you even weaker and you had to put all of your strengths into keeping a straight face.

“They found me the right person for this job.” You shrugged slightly, turning your head aside a bit to avoid his glance. “I was a handler before so I assure you that I…”

“I’ve never said you’re a wrong person, haven’t’ I?” He simply cupped your cheeks with his metal hand and forced you to look him in the eye. “If you were a handler, you shouldn’t be scared, yet you are. Why?”

His breath hit your cheek as he whispered into your ear.  
You swallowed hardly before you answered.   
“I’ve never worked with someone like you. You’re distinguished. You’ve never failed. And you’ve killed so many people… Wouldn’t it be stupid of me if I wouldn’t be scared, huh?” A little smirk appeared on your lips for a second or so, then it has vanished when you met his steel blue eyes.

“Good.” He let your cheeks and stretched his back. Man turned around and walked to his bed, slowly putting shirt on, his every muscle was so tensed.

You bit your lip, chewing it softly. The truth was that you were cooperating with American government and you were a spy. When you infiltrated Hydra’s household, you were on a straight way to get sergeant James Barnes and take him back home. You knew there was a long way in front of you to finish this case. And since he opened his door for you minutes before, you knew it won’t be easy to gain his trust. But there was no turning back. You had to do your best to keep things right.

He turned his face to you, his cold glance was on you again.  
“Better get some sleep. Tomorrow’s gonna be tough.” He said and pointed at door.

You gave a simple nod and took your briefcase with you.

When you opened door, you stopped for a second.  
“See you tomorrow… Sergeant Barnes…” You whispered and quickly left, closing door behind you.

He frowned and ran after you, opening door widely.  
“How did you call me, Y/N?!” He yelled but you didn’t stop until you turned into another corridor.

You put your back to the wall, breathing deeply, you struggled for every breath, trying to calm your heartbeat.

The asset was standing in his door, then he simply closed them. Many thoughts were running through his head at that moment.  
He laid down onto his bed, slipping hands beneath his head.

Barnes. Who was Barnes? He had a feeling he has heard this somewhere before but he couldn’t remember where.

He felt a blackness come over him. He finally closed his eyes as he drifted into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Deadline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're being asked about the Asset by one of your supervisors. You get the deadline: you have a week to make him useful for Hydra again. How the Asset will take this information?

It trailed him, hushed as the night, dancing between the trees as the sunlight flickered. It melted into darkness with the arrival of dusk, until it blended and disappeared against the backdrop of nothingness. But it remained, only neglected. Like the stars during the day – overpowered by the pouring rays of sunlight – but yet still there.  
As night whisked away it joined him once more, hailing like an old friend. It mirrored his actions, as though looking up to him, surveying and admiring his every move.

The Asset wasn’t yet able to state what was it but he could clearly feel its presence. Something was wrong, he felt it in his bones.

When he got up that day, he was feeling wrecked. He didn’t want to go at the training room. He didn’t want to leave his little cell. But he couldn’t say “no”. He was their tool.

He worked out until his skin took on a glossy shine and the salty drops invaded his eyes. As he kept moving the sweat was a welcome addition, cooling and helping him to feel like he’s worked hard. When he stopped doing push-ups, he felt how wet his clothing has become.  
The sweat trickled down his back, free flowing like condensation on a window pane, it beaded on his forehead and dripped from his chin.

He felt glances on him but he couldn’t figure out, to whom they belonged to.

Meantime, you were standing behind the one-way mirror, observing Barnes carefully, two agents accompanied you in the room.

“He’s ready,” strong voice whispered straight into your ear.

You didn’t realize that you supervisor has entered the room; he did it so quietly that you almost jumped at the tone of his voice.  
You felt his breath on your cheek. It smelled like cheese that had been left in the back of a broken refrigerator– for, say, a month. You stopped yourself from a gag reflex by turning your head slightly aside.

“Mint?” You offered politely, pulling little packing out from pocket of your uniform.

Man had politely declined, and you nodded lightly.

“He’s ready to comply,” the lieutenant repeated. “But his last two performances made us worried. The High Command instructed me to take steps to exterminate this Asset,” man informed casually.

You shrugged, shaking your head.  
“I don’t think so, comrade lieutenant,” you replied in a deep voice when you heard his last sentence, “He is ready but only partially. We cannot be sure that he won’t betray us.”

Lieutenant threw you a cold glance as he scratched his chin.  
“Exactly. So, miss Y/N? How long will it take?”

You frowned.  
“I’m afraid I don’t understand, comrade…”

“I ASKED HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE YOU TO TRAIN HIM, Y/N?” This time man growled, you noticed with the corner of the eye that he clenched hands in fists. “I’m giving you one last chance to rebuilt our faith in this piece of trash. His former handler wasn’t too involved in our requests,and you good know how had he ended.”

“Yes, I know,” you admitted, “But I… I am not sure…” You swallowed hardly before speaking out loudly. “He’s unstable, we all know this.”

You looked through the mirror to watch Barnes doing dead lift with a huge load. You stopped breathing for a second when you realized that Asset was looking straight at you. Moment later, you cooled yourself down – he couldn’t see you through this kind of a mirror. You knew it, yet a strange, unspoken fear remained in the back of your head.

Of course, it didn’t go unnoticed by your supervisor.  
Older man smirked rudely.  
“What? Are you afraid of our minion?” He chuckled awfully, and bared his nicotine stained teeth.

You took a quick breath and kept the poker face.  
“No, comrade. I’m not afraid at all. Give me a week, and I’ll do the most loyal figure of him,” you said, looking at Barnes through the glass, “He won’t try anything ever again, I guarantee,” you added.

Man turned around and was about leaving the room but he stopped next to you to pat your shoulder.  
“You have one week. Not a minute more.”  
After these words, man left the room along with two other agents.

You let out a shaky breath, then rubbed your temples to calm yourself down.

You looked at your reflection in the one-way mirror, and left the room quickly, heading straight to the gym.

The Asset was now working with a punching bag.

You frowned as you noticed some blood on his knuckles.  
“Enough,” you said loudly.

He gave you a brief look but he didn’t stop. He was still slamming into the punching bag.

“ENOUGH, ASSET!” You yelled loudly.

He stopped, leaning his forehead against the ratty material of the bag.  
“What do you want, Y/N?” He asked simply.

You crossed arms over your chest, looking at him.  
“Listen, you’ll be training with me from today. You’ll also be assisting me in my daily tasks, do you understand?” You tried to sound firmly but your voice almost faded out with last three words as you saw a smirk on his lips. “What’s so funny, Asset?”

He tilted his head to look at you, he ran his tongue over his lips.  
“We’ll see who will be training whom,” his blue eyes were looking straight into yours, and you felt uncomfortably, what made him smirk even wider. “But okay. Deal,” he agreed as he stretched his back, presenting all the tensed muscles.

You felt your heart skipped a beat at the view but you tried to keep straight face.  
“Tomorrow. At 6:00. At the driveway. And don’t be late,” you informed him before you left the gym.

As soon as you did, you rested your back against the cold wall, gasping for air.

What this man, the Asset, was even doing to you?


End file.
